About

I think it’s important to inform anyone who stumbles on to this that, by any worldly standard, I am nothing to admire or be impressed by. I live a typical American lifestyle for a 24 year old.  I have a house in the suburbs and I mean hardcore suburbs. I think there’s actually a sign upon entrance into burb that says “Please No Loud Rap or Liberal Talk for the Sake of Children Playing, ok?”. I love the rap music. I have a dog that I hate. I don’t hate her, I just don’t like her at all. I drive a dependable sedan that gets good gas mileage. I really do like that car. Enough about my “American Dream”. I do have a few things that make me a little different than your average American. I have a wife that I love with every ounce of my being (that seems to be rare these days). She encourages me when I dream and gives me wings. I am truly a better man because of that woman. I also have a family that I actually enjoy being around.But more than all of this, I am desperate for Jesus. And this does not always come in the pretty form of joy and happiness. In fact, I would say the majority of the time is spent in suffering. To be candid, I am quite a tormented soul. Torn between what the world would say is right for me to do vs. abandoning this idol to fully obey Jesus and live like he lived. On the surface, I have it all together. I am nice to people almost always (probably because of my desperate need to please people), and I have done what the world has told me I should do. Meanwhile, there is a constant war within my soul between the flesh and the spirit. I am the definition of a ragamuffin. There is absolutely nothing that I could do to earn the Lord’s favor, and I am constantly in need of his grace. Dallas Willard says that “the saint is in need of more grace than the sinner”.